God has been speaking to me about my desires, my truest desires.  You know the ones of which I speak.  Those desires that he placed there in me before the creation of the world, before sin came in and confused them all, before I learned how to suppress them, to shut them up.  I believe that it is those desires, and only those that bring us true happiness, and true significance.

    But I have also been intrigued at how strongly those desires are opposed. 

    I have walked and tasted of some of those desires in my own life.  So much of this ministry is a result of those.  And as I have pursued those places that God has been calling me to, even wooing me to, the joy in those places and the life that results have been intoxicating.  As I pursue that, all I want is more of it, more of God.

    But, (and here is the interesting thing) as soon as I let my guard down, as soon as I choose, even so briefly, not to pursue that, I find the very things that gave me life of little interest.  Even distasteful.
  
    Then a thought came to me.  Why aren't my other desires like that?  I have other desires, things that bring me joy and a taste of some part of life.  Some are very basic like a love of food.  Some are very intimate, like the desire for my wife; and some are just down right fun, like the passion I have for racing motocross.  Yet, with each of those, if I don't have time to pursue them, if I turn my attention to other things, the desire is still there, sometimes even stronger than before.

    Not so with the desire for the deepest things, the 'God' things.  They bring me as much if not more fulfillment than the things above, but turn away from them for only a moment, and they are a distant memory.  And so I have concluded the only answer can be opposition.  Someone, or some thing is working with a vengeance to keep me from such.  It is the only real explanation.
   
    And so it is in this context that the disciplines begin to fit into my theology, the need to pursue God.  Not to earn his favor or impress my friends or even gain wisdom, but to fight for the things that I love, the things that God has given me to love.  It is for my benefit, not his.  It is a weapon, a tool in the battle that is against this great call that He has on my life.   It is a weapon for you in the battle that is against the great call that he has on your life.

    I talk to so many that share that they just don't know what God has for them.  Of course they don't.  That information, that intelligence is being opposed.  We need to fight for it, and keep fighting for it.  It is life.

    to the king,

    david