As we start to unpack, what is my last installment in this series, I thank you for allowing me to share with you what I am sure has been rather non-linear thoughts and feelings within my head and my heart.  Most of the things that I have shared with you have been very conceptual things that I have never been able to fully express before.  Having said that, again, I say thank you for your time and your ears.

So, we come to the last installment and in Part 3, I told you that I would share with you what that “truth” was that my wife and I cling to which helps keep us centered.  Here it is: we make God, through Christ, our first priority and focus our efforts on Him and then focus on each other and those around us.  In doing so, we are actually keeping what has come to be known as the New Commandment that Christ gave to us.  That is:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these” Mark 12:30-31 

Rather simple, isn’t it.  Yet there is great power in this.  I don’t remember who exactly came up with this visualization trick as it is not mine but the most effective way to conceptualize this is to picture the cross.  As you look at the cross, remember that Christ’s death is the “bridge” that leads us to God.  The vertical section of the cross is what allows us to enter into a relationship with our Heavenly Father, keeps us in touch with Him and helps us to identify who we are and how we live our lives through Christ Jesus.  The horizontal section of the cross keeps us in touch with those around us and helps us to identify how we live our lives with them.  For us, the key in living out the horizontal section of the cross is to make time for each other and make our relationship a priority.  For example, during the first weekend of each month, we ship all of the kids to relatives or friends houses and spend that time just being a couple.  We have also recently incorporated a Friday night date night each week.  Just in case you are wondering, we have 4 boys.  Yes this is can be done and yes it is important to take this break, at least it is for us.  By taking this time, we are able to reconnect, draw strength from each other and help each other as we love and live out our lives with those around us. 

The message here is simple, but its simplicity is what makes the commandment, when applied, so effective.  If your focus in life is on God through Christ, then you have entered into the greatest relationship of all.  Within the confines of this relationship, you are provided with an opportunity to learn what it is like to live and love through the grace, peace and mercy of our Heavenly Father through Christ’s teachings and examples.  With that relationship as our “role model”, and by nurturing each other and our relationship, we take what we know and apply it to our “neighbors” (neighbor is an all inclusive word).  When we as Christians live our lives in this manner, we can begin to live and love much in the same way that “Christ loved the church” (see Ephesians 5:21-33).

Now, having said all of that, I come back to the original reason why I started talking about this subject matter in the first place.  Is love a choice?  My answer to that question, brothers and sisters, is yes.  Love is a choice; however, in my opinion, you must choose to make it a choice.  That is where the real battle lies and the reason behind this series.  I don’t want anyone walking away from this thinking that the things that I have talked about is a magical cure and that if you just apply these things in your own life that things will get better.  Loving anyone is a process and is one that requires continual modifications and adjustments.  What I do hope through this series, however, is that I have given you some ammunition to use when the evil one tries to take away your choice to love from you.

May the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, be with you on this journey.

 Jim