Dear Connie,

I only met you once Connie.  You were so beautiful.  I wish I would have known you when you were a young girl, an awkward teen, a new mom.  I’ve been told by others in our family that it was just as well I didn’t.   That I was the lucky one, being adopted out of a family in turmoil, being raised in as much safer, stable environment.  I suppose that may be true.  I am so grateful for the wonderful family that I did grow up in.  I am so grateful for the way that God has provided for and protected me and yet I wonder what our relationship would have been like.  Would I have understood your pain, your fears?  Would you have understood mine?

I don’t pretend to comprehend the demons that you fought.  I can’t begin to grasp what caused you to take all those pills, and I don’t even begin to assume that I would have somehow prevented that. 

Just know this Connie.  I see you as a hero, as one who fell in this dreadful battle that we are all caught up in on this side of eternity.  Many have asked me what becomes of suicides in the next world. I don’t know honestly.  But I  disagree with the misconception that they have rejected God.  I don’t believe that, certainly not always.  I don’t think you rejected God so much as I believe you fought a battle staged over years and years, surrounded by an enemy that hates you, and you lost.

Someday I hope to hear your stories Connie, to understand who you were.  I already know that you have a family, a mother, brothers, sister and two wonderful daughters, who loved you very much – in spite of your scars and demons.  Life in this world, in this war zone is so bloody and so filthy that I often miss that, but that too is an effect of this world.

Rest well now Connie, your battle is over.

To the King,

Your Brother, David